words

“Its only words, and words are all I have, to take Your heart away ...” famous lyrics from bee gees “words”.

Words are a powerful tool to bring across ideas, to communicate. And i love to play around with words. Problem is, words are such that once spoken, you can never take it back. Like the chinese saying “Spilled water cant be collected back ( 覆水难收)”, we have to be careful and THINK b4 we speak.

I was mindless enuff to made rude remarks to a fren, and our conversation went like this :

me : i'm sorry..i didnt mean it...
fren : no, you're not sorry, cos if you were, you will THINK b4 you act....

that seems like sticky a formless knife into my heart, and twist it a few times, and leaving it there... i'm been saying things that hurt and annoy frens (eg tomato, senior, etc..), and apologising and promising not to do it again, and repeat the offence again...and the cycle goes on...

i'm lucky that frens have boundless patience and magnanimously forgive me time and again, and i also realise that its difficult to pacify a fren, and ask for forgiveness, no matter that my intention is not to hurt frens (well, i had the immaturity and stupidity to say the darndest things). I feel that i'm not worth a fren to them, as to me, fren is suppose to protect your feelings, and the last person to hurt your feelings. If the fren hurt your feelings time and again, might as well dont have that fren.

As such, i shall refrain from further totless actions, and pursue my meditation more diligently, inorder to be able to check my tots, b4 they are converted to speech and blameful actions.

I'm really sorry cm, and i mean it.