Tots on Tomato

 its tomato's bday today...and i called her...and the conversations ended in 3 mins...after greeting her, it went something like :

me : yo..you seem so busy lately...not even have time to say “hi” and “bye” to me online...
she : no lar..normal busy lar...
me : how are you celebrating today? Are you seeing someone? Or is someone after you?
She : why do you ask?
Me : just curious...
she : do i have to answer that?
Me : not if you dowan to...
she : ok. Dont ask me those questions, cos i also never ask you..
me : ok...ok..ya...alrite...take care then and bye.

been feeling empty whole day...and got a bit better after seeing my cute dentist....
now i'm composing my tots and feelings on her...and posting it in my blog ...
guess its the end of a chapter for me, and a new beginning for her  :)

sigh...i got to know tomato online in frenster in 2007, just before CNY, and chatted with her online, and i jokingly told her that i'll go after her if i dun have a gf in msia..to which she said no, must consider her first....and that set my train of tots in motion...and i fell head over heels for her...though we've never met or talked on phone b4 !

Got her handphone number later, and racked up a bill on my credit card, which was solved later by her insisting me to call her using skype. We continued to sky for hours on end, and even played puzzle on msn while chatting...those were the days, haha...

not long after, our topics dried up..and she got nothing more to talk to me...guess her curiosity for me died away, hehe...

coming to think of it, i've been very inconsiderate and disrespectful of her..always annoying her, and offering nothing of help to her..asking silly questions...teasing her...man...i'm so pathethic ! ...

but now that (i think) she maybe seeing someone..i guess its time for me to move on...finally. Those promises which i made..to take her to klcc revolving restaurant, klang bak kut the, etc....shall remain as unfulfilled this life. And she'll be a gal which i have feel for, but never met b4..that alone entitles her to a special place in my heart, as long as i can remember it.

Read somewhere that feelings are due to contacts, and to cut off feelings, i have to cut off the contacts. So i shall delete her hp number, and her blog, and her online names. That way, my hands wont be itchy to click on it, and disturb her. And i will give up all dreams/hopes of meeting her, and leave the rest to fate.

Sent her this mail, along with countless poems, and a few cards during the hey days:

# 10 things I hate about you :

Dear lil tomato,

I am glad to know you, and am much influenced by ur positive attitude, cheerfulness, cuteness, ur interest in d dhamma (this is important to me, but it’s another story, will tell u next time :P ). However,  there are 10 things that I hate about u :

1.    I hate the way u make my heart leap when I meet u online.
2.    I hate the way u make my heart sink when u r offline.
3.    I hate the way u make me think of u when I m awake.
4.    I hate the way u make me dream of u (sometimes), when I m asleep.
5.    I hate the fact that u r in sg, n I in kl.
6.    I hate the fact that u left an indelible mark in my heart.
7.    I hate the fact that I m not ur chili sauce.
8.    I hate the fact that I can’t use CH brand ketchup on my steak.
9.    I hate the fact that I m attracted to a lil tomato, even thou I’ve never met her b4.
10.    Lastly, I hate myself for hating u :P
(adapted from “The 10 things I hate about you”)

Having said that, I m thankful to know u in this lifetime : ). I must have done a lot of good deeds in my past :P

I hope to know more about u, n vice versa.

May u be happy n healthy always :D

Best wishes,
Leh #

so, here's wishing you a happy bday , and you shall be the tomato always :)