F.A.Q.s (actually just some questions from fans and made up questions from myself, kekeke.. :P )
Q. Is the story based in Europe or KL ?
A. Actually, it started out in Europe, but I decided to put in places where my gal frens are staying, hence the random and far flung places, eg Sri petaling, Sheung Wan (Hong Kong), etc. The author apologise for the confusion caused. ;-P
Q. Is the story about a group of French speaking Malaysians in Europe, or French people in Malaysia?
A. In the beginning, I thought of flaunting my French, but turns out I know only a few words, and had to bring in the other languages and dialects, thus making it into a “rojak”. The author also wish to apologise for the foul languages used, and will monitor it closely in the future.
Q. Are the characters someone you know?
A. Ya, since I’m writing the story, might as well put in the gals I know. :-)
Q. Doesn’t the story have titles?
A. Sorry, at first I thought it’s gonna be a one off thing, only to have Michelle suggest a second plot, and it subsequently triggered off my wild imaginations. So, tentatively, the titles are :
Case #1 : Tear of the Nile (booooring )
Case #2 : Demise of a superstar (yawn..)
Case #3 : Fall to death / Tri Towers ( its seems I don’t have talent in making up titles, can anyone help? Miss Purple? Hehe…)
Case #4 : Kidnapped
Case #5 : Clean Up ( in draft mode )
Q. When will all this stories end?
A. Well, at first, I intended to kill off Sticky in case #4, cos I ran out of ideas liao. But Lilliane protested, and suggested that I sent him on a holiday in the Carribeans, so, I’ll see how it goes. Maybe extend his life one more case, and finish him off in case#5, haha…
Thanks for all the support, and bearing with me and my crazy imaginations - Lilliane, Michelle, senior(Countess Yvonne), Eve, Miss Purple and Miss tomato. :D
Monday, October 13, 2008
detective story - part 8
Part 8 – On a Sunday evening
On a sunday evening. I was relieved to get the dough by Madame Flauntine. With this, i ordered a table for 2, with seaside view, and birds of paradise as a gift for Lilliane.
I'm gonna take a break, till my next case turns up. “Riiing, Riiing,....” goes the ancient phone. Who is it at this hour?
“Hello, Sticky here.” i picked it up.
Its Miss Purple. She’s organizing a charity party, and invited me to attend. Though I still cant bear myself to see her together with her boyfriend, NigeR, I cant reject her personal invitation.
“Ok, I’ll be there.” And bought some lottery/lucky draw tickets. Its peanuts compared to the amount of money I’ve spent in casinos and buying lottery tickets and 4 D’s.
Putting down the phone, I was lazing on the sofa when, “Riiing, Riiing,....” goes the ancient phone again. Who can it be this time?
“Hello….”I spoke impatiently.
“Bonsoir, Monsieur Sticky, i'm Eve calling from Princess Bank,” replied a sweet voice. Ah, my friendly banker.
“Bonsoir, mademoiselle Eve.” I adjusted my tone to courteous mode.
“Your current account is overdrawn, please bank in 1,000 pounds before 9am monday morning.”
“Ok. Thanks. How about lunch on.... ? “ I ventured for the umpteenth time.
“Merci. Bonne Nuit.” Click. “tuuuut....” the phone went dead. I suppressed a french curse. Must i have 200,000 pounds to put in to Princess Bank fixed deposit before i can meet her ? You wait long long, my inner voice told me.
Anyway, i'm not gonna let it spoil my mood. I fixed myself a cup of hot Olim, recommended by my cardiac, Countess Yvonne, as she said it makes me strong and healthy, and put on the headphones to listen to Beyond's “Wide Sea, Open sky”, and play my strip mahjong with the computer. This is the best i can make of the pathetic life of a private investigator.
Note : Bonsoir = good evening
Merci = Thank You
Bonne Nuit = good night
Coming up next, Case #2, stay tuned….kekeke… ;-)
On a sunday evening. I was relieved to get the dough by Madame Flauntine. With this, i ordered a table for 2, with seaside view, and birds of paradise as a gift for Lilliane.
I'm gonna take a break, till my next case turns up. “Riiing, Riiing,....” goes the ancient phone. Who is it at this hour?
“Hello, Sticky here.” i picked it up.
Its Miss Purple. She’s organizing a charity party, and invited me to attend. Though I still cant bear myself to see her together with her boyfriend, NigeR, I cant reject her personal invitation.
“Ok, I’ll be there.” And bought some lottery/lucky draw tickets. Its peanuts compared to the amount of money I’ve spent in casinos and buying lottery tickets and 4 D’s.
Putting down the phone, I was lazing on the sofa when, “Riiing, Riiing,....” goes the ancient phone again. Who can it be this time?
“Hello….”I spoke impatiently.
“Bonsoir, Monsieur Sticky, i'm Eve calling from Princess Bank,” replied a sweet voice. Ah, my friendly banker.
“Bonsoir, mademoiselle Eve.” I adjusted my tone to courteous mode.
“Your current account is overdrawn, please bank in 1,000 pounds before 9am monday morning.”
“Ok. Thanks. How about lunch on.... ? “ I ventured for the umpteenth time.
“Merci. Bonne Nuit.” Click. “tuuuut....” the phone went dead. I suppressed a french curse. Must i have 200,000 pounds to put in to Princess Bank fixed deposit before i can meet her ? You wait long long, my inner voice told me.
Anyway, i'm not gonna let it spoil my mood. I fixed myself a cup of hot Olim, recommended by my cardiac, Countess Yvonne, as she said it makes me strong and healthy, and put on the headphones to listen to Beyond's “Wide Sea, Open sky”, and play my strip mahjong with the computer. This is the best i can make of the pathetic life of a private investigator.
Note : Bonsoir = good evening
Merci = Thank You
Bonne Nuit = good night
Coming up next, Case #2, stay tuned….kekeke… ;-)
detective story - part 7
Part 7 – Ending
“breet – breet, Ta – ta”, the tango music of my handphone rang. Who is it that calls on a sunday morning at 8? This had better be good. Mumbling incoherently, i picked it up.
“Hello?” i answered grumpily, at the same time bracing myself for some bad news.
“Monsieur Sticky ! Oh, you gotta come here now !” a shrill voice came over the phone.
“Mademoiselle Lilliane? What happened?” i put the phone a little farther from my ear, adjusting to the loud volume.
“Its Poodie, our poodle has gone missing !” Lilliane shrieked again.
“Huh? How can? Why like that? Mmmm....are you sure? Have you looked.....?”
“Yes it is ! Oh...her cage was broken, and she's gone ! Definitely someone stole her !” wailed Lilliane.
“Cool it, mademoiselle.....” what is it with dog lovers? Humans can even have enough to eat (including yours truly), and they're going mad over a poodle..pooh !
“Mmmmm.....” i hummed into the phone, buying some time to think. Could it be related to the case? Come Sticky, think, use your brain, my inner voice said.
You've been lazing too long, and now's the chance to earn your buck, the voice chided again.
Lemme think....Tear of Nile.....open french windows....Madame Bovarine the dog lover.... Mademoiselle Marine the struggling loyer.... Madame Mireille the M&A specialist...what is the connection?...Bingo ! Got it !
“Mdmsl Lilliane, give me half an hour, i'll be at your place.” I answered excitedly.
Crawling up from my mattress, i quickly changed and rushed to the car. Driving at my top speed, i reached Madame Mireille's place.
Hearing a dog whining inside, i gave the door a flying kick(as trained by senior), and charged into the room, just in time to see Mdm Mireille holding Poodie by the neck, and brandishing a evil looking dagger in the other hand.
“Sticky ! What the... ? How..? Nevermind ! I'll make short work of you first, and deal with the dog later !” she sneered.
Obviously she didnt know that i was trained in taekwondo and praying mantis fist 10 years ago.
Without another word, i stepped forward agilely using the Monkey steal Peach steps, closing the gap between us. Before she had time to react and recover from her astonishment, i flicked a Cobra chop at her dagger arm, disarming her, and gave her a Flying Slapping kick to her head.
I muttered a prayer of thanks for senior training me well, as Mdm Mireille slumped to the floor.
Tying her and Poodie up, i drove over to Mdm Flauntine's place. Lilliane was tearing but her sadness changed into utter surprised as i walked up the doorway, carrying Poodie in one arm, and Mdm Mireille slung over my back.
“Monsier Sticky ! How come...? What happened?” Lilliane queried.
“I dunno, let Mdm. Mireille explain for herself.” i replied tiredly. “Can i have some breakfast please? Sil-vous-plait? “
“Oh...sure ! Come on in! And oh Poodie ! I missed you so ! Muaks” With that, she kissed on the dog. Yucks.
After breakfast, I explained my hypotheses to Madame Flauntine. Its simple actually.
The guest must have slipped through the long and narrow french window, with the Tear of Nile, and force it down Poodie's throat. Therefore, when Poodie when missing, its obvious that the culprit came for the ruby. And from logical deduction :
1.Madame Bovarine is too rich to do this kind of thing. And, she's too fat to squeeze thru the narrow french windows.
2.Mademoiselle Marine is in financial debt, a strong suspect, but she's too weak to force the ruby down the dog's throat. Which brings us to
3.Madame Mireille, a medium built lady. Her motive will be to cash in the ruby, and used it to buy the stocks of the company that is going to be taken over, hence pushing its share price up.
Madame Mireille confessed to it all, and Madame Flauntine was gracious enough to let her off, on the grounds of their close friendship.
“Good job, monsieur Sticky.” my client praised.
“Oh, its nothing really. Just elementary, my dear Madame, elementary.” i replied with a low bow. Obviously, this is not my original line.
“I wouldnt have solve it without the prompt response from Mdmsl Lilliane.” i credited Lilliane with another low bow.
“Oh, i was just so worried about Poodie....”she blushed beet red.
“I'll send over your payment shortly. Now, if you''ll excuse me.” with that, Mdm Flauntine left, and i made my leave.
Note : Sil-vous-plait = if you please, if it pleases you
“breet – breet, Ta – ta”, the tango music of my handphone rang. Who is it that calls on a sunday morning at 8? This had better be good. Mumbling incoherently, i picked it up.
“Hello?” i answered grumpily, at the same time bracing myself for some bad news.
“Monsieur Sticky ! Oh, you gotta come here now !” a shrill voice came over the phone.
“Mademoiselle Lilliane? What happened?” i put the phone a little farther from my ear, adjusting to the loud volume.
“Its Poodie, our poodle has gone missing !” Lilliane shrieked again.
“Huh? How can? Why like that? Mmmm....are you sure? Have you looked.....?”
“Yes it is ! Oh...her cage was broken, and she's gone ! Definitely someone stole her !” wailed Lilliane.
“Cool it, mademoiselle.....” what is it with dog lovers? Humans can even have enough to eat (including yours truly), and they're going mad over a poodle..pooh !
“Mmmmm.....” i hummed into the phone, buying some time to think. Could it be related to the case? Come Sticky, think, use your brain, my inner voice said.
You've been lazing too long, and now's the chance to earn your buck, the voice chided again.
Lemme think....Tear of Nile.....open french windows....Madame Bovarine the dog lover.... Mademoiselle Marine the struggling loyer.... Madame Mireille the M&A specialist...what is the connection?...Bingo ! Got it !
“Mdmsl Lilliane, give me half an hour, i'll be at your place.” I answered excitedly.
Crawling up from my mattress, i quickly changed and rushed to the car. Driving at my top speed, i reached Madame Mireille's place.
Hearing a dog whining inside, i gave the door a flying kick(as trained by senior), and charged into the room, just in time to see Mdm Mireille holding Poodie by the neck, and brandishing a evil looking dagger in the other hand.
“Sticky ! What the... ? How..? Nevermind ! I'll make short work of you first, and deal with the dog later !” she sneered.
Obviously she didnt know that i was trained in taekwondo and praying mantis fist 10 years ago.
Without another word, i stepped forward agilely using the Monkey steal Peach steps, closing the gap between us. Before she had time to react and recover from her astonishment, i flicked a Cobra chop at her dagger arm, disarming her, and gave her a Flying Slapping kick to her head.
I muttered a prayer of thanks for senior training me well, as Mdm Mireille slumped to the floor.
Tying her and Poodie up, i drove over to Mdm Flauntine's place. Lilliane was tearing but her sadness changed into utter surprised as i walked up the doorway, carrying Poodie in one arm, and Mdm Mireille slung over my back.
“Monsier Sticky ! How come...? What happened?” Lilliane queried.
“I dunno, let Mdm. Mireille explain for herself.” i replied tiredly. “Can i have some breakfast please? Sil-vous-plait? “
“Oh...sure ! Come on in! And oh Poodie ! I missed you so ! Muaks” With that, she kissed on the dog. Yucks.
After breakfast, I explained my hypotheses to Madame Flauntine. Its simple actually.
The guest must have slipped through the long and narrow french window, with the Tear of Nile, and force it down Poodie's throat. Therefore, when Poodie when missing, its obvious that the culprit came for the ruby. And from logical deduction :
1.Madame Bovarine is too rich to do this kind of thing. And, she's too fat to squeeze thru the narrow french windows.
2.Mademoiselle Marine is in financial debt, a strong suspect, but she's too weak to force the ruby down the dog's throat. Which brings us to
3.Madame Mireille, a medium built lady. Her motive will be to cash in the ruby, and used it to buy the stocks of the company that is going to be taken over, hence pushing its share price up.
Madame Mireille confessed to it all, and Madame Flauntine was gracious enough to let her off, on the grounds of their close friendship.
“Good job, monsieur Sticky.” my client praised.
“Oh, its nothing really. Just elementary, my dear Madame, elementary.” i replied with a low bow. Obviously, this is not my original line.
“I wouldnt have solve it without the prompt response from Mdmsl Lilliane.” i credited Lilliane with another low bow.
“Oh, i was just so worried about Poodie....”she blushed beet red.
“I'll send over your payment shortly. Now, if you''ll excuse me.” with that, Mdm Flauntine left, and i made my leave.
Note : Sil-vous-plait = if you please, if it pleases you
detective story - part 6
Part 6 – Madame Mireille
After getting confirmation from Mdm. Mireille to the guardhouse, and scanning my car for suspicious looking weapons and packages, I was finally let in the gated community, after leaving my Identity card and driving license behind.
Mdm. Mireille sure is a high flyer, having succeeded in closing a lot of big deals in Initial Public Offerings(IPO’s), Mergers and Acquistions (M&A’s), working her guts out while I sleep and while my time away.
The BMW 7 series and Jaguar in her driveway looked monstrous compared to my tiny car. Her garden is well maintained, and I walked forward to ask the gardener who is watering the plants to announce my arrival.
“Excusez moi,….”
“Yes?...Oh, its you, M. Sticky !” I got a shock to realize that Mdm. Mireille is the gardener herself !
“Oh..bonsoir madame, my apologies to intrude you upon this late hour, but this is regarding Mdm. Flauntine’s ruby…”I recovered myself and went straight to the point.
“Ah, come on in, and we talk about it over dinner.”She invited.
“Bon appetite, madame.” I raised my glass of wine, and toasted her.
“Bon appetite, monsieur.” With that, we clinked our glasses, and tucked into dinner. Dinner was nice, with frois gras, Jelly duck as appetizer, followed by truffles, salmon in salsa sauce as main course. The sauce is something to be remembered, made from coriander, ginger, masala and a host of spices.
I started the topic again, when dessert of blue vein cheese and dark Venetian coffee is served.
“Hmmm…nice coffee. Thank you. Madame, now that we are finished…”I started after taking a sip at the strong coffee.
“M. Sticky, it is an insult to even suggest that I’m connected to the theft. As you can see, I’m loaded. Let’s put this matter aside, and talk about other things.”She cut me off curtly.
“Ah, well, if you insist, madame.” Detective handbook rule#2, Go with the flow. And I adhered to it religiously.
Mdm. Mireille rattled on her high profile deal on the merger of Lemon Brothers and Earnest & Old. It’s the deal of the century, with staggering amount of money involved. Not to mentioned the intricate share swaps, rights issues and Irredeemable Convertible Unsecured Loan Stock (ICULS) involved. She even lamented that had she the extra cash, she would buy up shares of Lemon Brothers. But as it is, she’s making tons of it now.
Finishing my financial lecture, I thanked her politely before leaving for home to arranged my notes.
Later that night, I chatted up Michelle, an analyst working for a multinational, 3N, for details on the M&A. She confirmed a positive yes, from her sources in the stock market. Rumours are running wild that the price may go up sky high. Before she can ask me on how to compensate her for her losses in gold spot trading, acted on my dumb advice, I told her I’m tired out tonight, and logged off.
Hitting my mattress, my thoughts wandered from the case to the gals, before I drifted to la la land.
To be continued…
After getting confirmation from Mdm. Mireille to the guardhouse, and scanning my car for suspicious looking weapons and packages, I was finally let in the gated community, after leaving my Identity card and driving license behind.
Mdm. Mireille sure is a high flyer, having succeeded in closing a lot of big deals in Initial Public Offerings(IPO’s), Mergers and Acquistions (M&A’s), working her guts out while I sleep and while my time away.
The BMW 7 series and Jaguar in her driveway looked monstrous compared to my tiny car. Her garden is well maintained, and I walked forward to ask the gardener who is watering the plants to announce my arrival.
“Excusez moi,….”
“Yes?...Oh, its you, M. Sticky !” I got a shock to realize that Mdm. Mireille is the gardener herself !
“Oh..bonsoir madame, my apologies to intrude you upon this late hour, but this is regarding Mdm. Flauntine’s ruby…”I recovered myself and went straight to the point.
“Ah, come on in, and we talk about it over dinner.”She invited.
“Bon appetite, madame.” I raised my glass of wine, and toasted her.
“Bon appetite, monsieur.” With that, we clinked our glasses, and tucked into dinner. Dinner was nice, with frois gras, Jelly duck as appetizer, followed by truffles, salmon in salsa sauce as main course. The sauce is something to be remembered, made from coriander, ginger, masala and a host of spices.
I started the topic again, when dessert of blue vein cheese and dark Venetian coffee is served.
“Hmmm…nice coffee. Thank you. Madame, now that we are finished…”I started after taking a sip at the strong coffee.
“M. Sticky, it is an insult to even suggest that I’m connected to the theft. As you can see, I’m loaded. Let’s put this matter aside, and talk about other things.”She cut me off curtly.
“Ah, well, if you insist, madame.” Detective handbook rule#2, Go with the flow. And I adhered to it religiously.
Mdm. Mireille rattled on her high profile deal on the merger of Lemon Brothers and Earnest & Old. It’s the deal of the century, with staggering amount of money involved. Not to mentioned the intricate share swaps, rights issues and Irredeemable Convertible Unsecured Loan Stock (ICULS) involved. She even lamented that had she the extra cash, she would buy up shares of Lemon Brothers. But as it is, she’s making tons of it now.
Finishing my financial lecture, I thanked her politely before leaving for home to arranged my notes.
Later that night, I chatted up Michelle, an analyst working for a multinational, 3N, for details on the M&A. She confirmed a positive yes, from her sources in the stock market. Rumours are running wild that the price may go up sky high. Before she can ask me on how to compensate her for her losses in gold spot trading, acted on my dumb advice, I told her I’m tired out tonight, and logged off.
Hitting my mattress, my thoughts wandered from the case to the gals, before I drifted to la la land.
To be continued…
detective story - part 5
Part 5 – Madamoiselle Marine
Sheung Wan is a nice suburb, not too bustling, and surrounded by hills and trees. The seaview is also quite nice. And the skyscrapers opposite make for a panoramic night view. Though the place cannot be compared to posh places like Mayfair, Holland road, Melbourne and Bangsar, but the atmosphere is warm and comfy with the likes of Birmingham/Steines, Bukit Batok/Ang Mo Kio, Adelaide and Teluk Pulai.
Taking the narrow flight of stairs up, I reached the door of Mdmsl Marine.
“Knock, knock”
“Lei kan(coming)….” A rough voice called out.
The door opened to a slim brunette, specky with freckles, in sleeveless shirt, and hot pants. Just my type. I would have devoured her right there and then, if I were not here for official business. The fact that she’s a lawyer also deterred my actions.
“Afternoon, hou2 mou1(how are you)?” I greeted.
“Hou2 lei1 sei2 yan3 tau3 (good your dead head)!” she cursed. “I’m in the middle of preparing for my bar exams, and what the hell do you think you’re doing? “
Before I can speak a word, she interrupted with her fiery lash again.
“Mister, you have the right to remain silent, but whatever you say will be used against you!”
That reminds me to consult my panel of legal advisors before meeting any lawyer next time.
“No, I didn’t do it. And even if I did, I wouldn’t do it that way, and put myself in the list of obvious suspects. I know all the loopholes in law, and a few judges too.”
Somehow, my mind ran a bit wild on some lewd thoughts of fat judges and her. Sigh, I don’t call myself hamsap for nothing.
“And if you have nothing else to add, buzz off”. Slam ! The door slammed at my face, followed by silent obscene Cantonese curses by me, sending regards to her ancestors.
I cant help but remember my 2nd ex, who’s forever busy. Bless her, wherever she may be, and all the best in her future.
Well, at least it gives me some time to go back and have a nap before meeting Mdm. Mireille for dinner tonight.
Sheung Wan is a nice suburb, not too bustling, and surrounded by hills and trees. The seaview is also quite nice. And the skyscrapers opposite make for a panoramic night view. Though the place cannot be compared to posh places like Mayfair, Holland road, Melbourne and Bangsar, but the atmosphere is warm and comfy with the likes of Birmingham/Steines, Bukit Batok/Ang Mo Kio, Adelaide and Teluk Pulai.
Taking the narrow flight of stairs up, I reached the door of Mdmsl Marine.
“Knock, knock”
“Lei kan(coming)….” A rough voice called out.
The door opened to a slim brunette, specky with freckles, in sleeveless shirt, and hot pants. Just my type. I would have devoured her right there and then, if I were not here for official business. The fact that she’s a lawyer also deterred my actions.
“Afternoon, hou2 mou1(how are you)?” I greeted.
“Hou2 lei1 sei2 yan3 tau3 (good your dead head)!” she cursed. “I’m in the middle of preparing for my bar exams, and what the hell do you think you’re doing? “
Before I can speak a word, she interrupted with her fiery lash again.
“Mister, you have the right to remain silent, but whatever you say will be used against you!”
That reminds me to consult my panel of legal advisors before meeting any lawyer next time.
“No, I didn’t do it. And even if I did, I wouldn’t do it that way, and put myself in the list of obvious suspects. I know all the loopholes in law, and a few judges too.”
Somehow, my mind ran a bit wild on some lewd thoughts of fat judges and her. Sigh, I don’t call myself hamsap for nothing.
“And if you have nothing else to add, buzz off”. Slam ! The door slammed at my face, followed by silent obscene Cantonese curses by me, sending regards to her ancestors.
I cant help but remember my 2nd ex, who’s forever busy. Bless her, wherever she may be, and all the best in her future.
Well, at least it gives me some time to go back and have a nap before meeting Mdm. Mireille for dinner tonight.
detective story - part 4
Part 4 - Madame Bovarine
“Cuckoo, cuckoo....” the alarm of my handphone rang. I reached over, and wanted to press the snooze button, but decided against it. Today's a long day for me, and i don't want to be late with the breakfast appointment. Especially with Madame Bovarine, the socialite tai-tai.
I reached the Sri Petaling dim sum shop at 8am. Its easy to spot her actually. A fat lady sitting on a big table, pile up with all sorts of dim sum you can imagine – Shark's fin, abalone, bird's nest, crabmeat, prawn ball, crusty egg tart, fried yam(wu kok) , pan fried carrot cake(lor bak gou), steamed pork bun(char siew pau), chicken's sweet rice(lor mai kai), and a host of mouth-watering tibits i cant name.
With a wave towards her, i waited for her to gesture to me before sitting down. The huge man in black standing behind her looks menacing in his dark glasses. Why must body guards always have a typical look? That's when i noticed a sleek man, with nicely creamed hair, in white, sitting nearby. Ah, so the urban legend that rich and famous usually have a pair of bodyguards is true afterall. Black white two kill (Hei1 Bai2 shuang1 sa4). The way he looked at me seems as if i'm stripped naked by his eyes. Aargh, disgusting and unnerving.
“Oomph...you mast be mister sickee....” the fat lady mumbled with her mouthful of food.
“Kam, hef sam ting to eet...” she said, while licking at her oily fingers, studded with ornamental rings. I feel like facing a big vase, and quickly brought my attention back to the present.
“Ah, good morning, and thank you, Madam.”
“Ah Kau, ask them to ta pau(take away) this, this and this for George.” the tai tai ordered her bodyguard.
“Taking back for your husband? How lovely” i squeezed out a weak smile.
“NO lar ! Its for my loyal dog....”she scowled.
“Oh..sorry, Madam...”
“Listen to me, i know why you are here today, so i'm not going to let you waste my time...”she began.
“I didnt steal the ruby, and i dont have to, i have tons of them.....”
I nodded my head. Detective handbook rule #1 : Listening gains more information than talking.
“You know ar? I went for the party becos i give face to Flauntine..she think she what ar? If not becos her cook can serve great sweet and sour fish, i also no time to “layan” her...”
Still nodding, i began taking notes mentally.
“Plus, i also share a company with Flauntine...”
“You mean you are both partners”
“Aberthen(meaning : what do you think?) ? You think i pray pray ar....”
“No, madam, please continue...”waving my hands, i motioned for her to proceed.
“Flauntine that bitch ar....”and the information extracting process continued for the next few hours...
“Thank you, madam.” I bowed slightly, as the Mercedes Compressor pulled away, leaving me to take in the smokes.
Next stop, lunch at Mademoiselle Marine's place, at Sheung Wan.
To be continued...
“Cuckoo, cuckoo....” the alarm of my handphone rang. I reached over, and wanted to press the snooze button, but decided against it. Today's a long day for me, and i don't want to be late with the breakfast appointment. Especially with Madame Bovarine, the socialite tai-tai.
I reached the Sri Petaling dim sum shop at 8am. Its easy to spot her actually. A fat lady sitting on a big table, pile up with all sorts of dim sum you can imagine – Shark's fin, abalone, bird's nest, crabmeat, prawn ball, crusty egg tart, fried yam(wu kok) , pan fried carrot cake(lor bak gou), steamed pork bun(char siew pau), chicken's sweet rice(lor mai kai), and a host of mouth-watering tibits i cant name.
With a wave towards her, i waited for her to gesture to me before sitting down. The huge man in black standing behind her looks menacing in his dark glasses. Why must body guards always have a typical look? That's when i noticed a sleek man, with nicely creamed hair, in white, sitting nearby. Ah, so the urban legend that rich and famous usually have a pair of bodyguards is true afterall. Black white two kill (Hei1 Bai2 shuang1 sa4). The way he looked at me seems as if i'm stripped naked by his eyes. Aargh, disgusting and unnerving.
“Oomph...you mast be mister sickee....” the fat lady mumbled with her mouthful of food.
“Kam, hef sam ting to eet...” she said, while licking at her oily fingers, studded with ornamental rings. I feel like facing a big vase, and quickly brought my attention back to the present.
“Ah, good morning, and thank you, Madam.”
“Ah Kau, ask them to ta pau(take away) this, this and this for George.” the tai tai ordered her bodyguard.
“Taking back for your husband? How lovely” i squeezed out a weak smile.
“NO lar ! Its for my loyal dog....”she scowled.
“Oh..sorry, Madam...”
“Listen to me, i know why you are here today, so i'm not going to let you waste my time...”she began.
“I didnt steal the ruby, and i dont have to, i have tons of them.....”
I nodded my head. Detective handbook rule #1 : Listening gains more information than talking.
“You know ar? I went for the party becos i give face to Flauntine..she think she what ar? If not becos her cook can serve great sweet and sour fish, i also no time to “layan” her...”
Still nodding, i began taking notes mentally.
“Plus, i also share a company with Flauntine...”
“You mean you are both partners”
“Aberthen(meaning : what do you think?) ? You think i pray pray ar....”
“No, madam, please continue...”waving my hands, i motioned for her to proceed.
“Flauntine that bitch ar....”and the information extracting process continued for the next few hours...
“Thank you, madam.” I bowed slightly, as the Mercedes Compressor pulled away, leaving me to take in the smokes.
Next stop, lunch at Mademoiselle Marine's place, at Sheung Wan.
To be continued...
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
detective story - part 3
Part 3 : The scene
Reaching the sprawling mansion of Madame Flauntine, i cant help but wonder what kind of business she does. The driveway is long enough for a plane to take off, and the lawns are ample to build another block of condominiums or two. Walking into the hall, and ignoring the barks of the poodle, i greeted my client warmly.
“Bonjour, madame.”
“Ah, monsieur Sticky...cough..cough...excusez moi, but i'm not feeling well today, having chest pains. Cough, cough. Allow me to introduce my niece to you, Lilliane. “ Mdm Flauntine was wrapped in thick rolls of furs, and she gestured to a curly haired lady.
“Enchante, mademoiselle Liliane.” and i shaked her hands warmly. Turning to Mdm, “Madame, for your heart, i can recommend Countess Yvonne, my high school senior, a renowned cardiologist in Europe to you. Her professionalism is unquestionable, and her skills impeccable. And for your medication needs, i recommend Miss Tomato and Miss Purple of the Federal Regulation Bureau.”
“All right. Lilliane will be of assistance to you, now if you'll excuse me.”Mdm Flauntine sauntered out grogily.
“Mdmsl Lilliane, i'm sure your aunt must have told you of my profession as a private investigator, and my presence this morning here.” i began earnestly. “et vous etre?”
“Je suis consultante”, she replied haughtily. Somehow, the word “consultant” is arcane to me, and i always wonder what consultants do actually. I mean, if they do anything at all.
“Can you elaborate more on your job?” i queried.
“All i can say is i'm working on a italian job, and it is none of your business anyway, and is of no relation to the case at hand.” she snapped. She sure has a fiery nature.
“Oh, ok. We'll get down to business then.” i offered.
The mansion is tastefully built and furnished, with long french windows, and thick curtains. The party room has a big chandelier, and the whole house exuded style and fashion. It has ample wide spaces, which is a difference from other aristocratic wanna be's , who cluttered the whole place with furniture, carpets and what nots, and you can barely take a step without tripping over something.
Surveying the whole house brings nothing of new to light, and i was thinking of having lunch, when Lilliane motioned me over.
“I hope you have gathered your information, and i bid you good day.” she replied coldly. Not even lunch for me, and i muttered a italian curse silently.
“What is it?” she asked.
“Ah, nothing, just taking down some notes verbally.” i replied. “Bonjournee.” i bowed and left.
“Good luck, monsieur.” she managed to smile finally.
Back in the car, i took a drive around the mansion, and found nothing of interest. Reaching home, i called up the guests, and arranged to meet up with them tomorrow.
To be continued...
Note : bonjour = nice day
enchante = pleased to meet you
et vous etre = and you are? (used to ask a person's occupation or nationality, etc)
Je suis = i am
Bonjournee= nice day ahead
Reaching the sprawling mansion of Madame Flauntine, i cant help but wonder what kind of business she does. The driveway is long enough for a plane to take off, and the lawns are ample to build another block of condominiums or two. Walking into the hall, and ignoring the barks of the poodle, i greeted my client warmly.
“Bonjour, madame.”
“Ah, monsieur Sticky...cough..cough...excusez moi, but i'm not feeling well today, having chest pains. Cough, cough. Allow me to introduce my niece to you, Lilliane. “ Mdm Flauntine was wrapped in thick rolls of furs, and she gestured to a curly haired lady.
“Enchante, mademoiselle Liliane.” and i shaked her hands warmly. Turning to Mdm, “Madame, for your heart, i can recommend Countess Yvonne, my high school senior, a renowned cardiologist in Europe to you. Her professionalism is unquestionable, and her skills impeccable. And for your medication needs, i recommend Miss Tomato and Miss Purple of the Federal Regulation Bureau.”
“All right. Lilliane will be of assistance to you, now if you'll excuse me.”Mdm Flauntine sauntered out grogily.
“Mdmsl Lilliane, i'm sure your aunt must have told you of my profession as a private investigator, and my presence this morning here.” i began earnestly. “et vous etre?”
“Je suis consultante”, she replied haughtily. Somehow, the word “consultant” is arcane to me, and i always wonder what consultants do actually. I mean, if they do anything at all.
“Can you elaborate more on your job?” i queried.
“All i can say is i'm working on a italian job, and it is none of your business anyway, and is of no relation to the case at hand.” she snapped. She sure has a fiery nature.
“Oh, ok. We'll get down to business then.” i offered.
The mansion is tastefully built and furnished, with long french windows, and thick curtains. The party room has a big chandelier, and the whole house exuded style and fashion. It has ample wide spaces, which is a difference from other aristocratic wanna be's , who cluttered the whole place with furniture, carpets and what nots, and you can barely take a step without tripping over something.
Surveying the whole house brings nothing of new to light, and i was thinking of having lunch, when Lilliane motioned me over.
“I hope you have gathered your information, and i bid you good day.” she replied coldly. Not even lunch for me, and i muttered a italian curse silently.
“What is it?” she asked.
“Ah, nothing, just taking down some notes verbally.” i replied. “Bonjournee.” i bowed and left.
“Good luck, monsieur.” she managed to smile finally.
Back in the car, i took a drive around the mansion, and found nothing of interest. Reaching home, i called up the guests, and arranged to meet up with them tomorrow.
To be continued...
Note : bonjour = nice day
enchante = pleased to meet you
et vous etre = and you are? (used to ask a person's occupation or nationality, etc)
Je suis = i am
Bonjournee= nice day ahead
detective story - part 2
Part 2 : The Tear of Nile
Baroness Flauntine summed up the story over her whisky on the rocks. I escorted her to the door, and gave her a customary greeting of “bonne nuit” and a slight bow. With her pungent perfume of some unknown concoctions still lingering in my shabby one room apartment, i sat down to write down the details :
Item lost : The Tear of Nile.
Estimated value : 500,000 pounds (enough for me to put it as security to get a 3x loan facility from my banker friend)
Place : Mansion of Baroness Flauntine
Time : around 9pm at her private party, during a 30 minutes blackout
Guest List :
Madame Bovarine – a prominent lady of high social status, 55 years obese rich lady, with an penchant for dogs.
Mademoiselle Marine – Struggling lawyer, age 35, working for a Hong Kong based legal firm.
Madame Mireille – 33 year old workaholic accountant, with established accounting firm, specialising in M&A.
The details are skeletal, and not even enough for me to put on my thinking cap. I folded the paper of details into my pocket, and had a night cap before hitting the sack.
Friday morning, i managed to get my beaten up Iswara started, and sped towards the mansion of Baroness Flauntine near the suburbs. I need to survey the scene of crime to get more clues, before i can interview the suspects.
To be continued....
note : bonne nuit = good night
Baroness Flauntine summed up the story over her whisky on the rocks. I escorted her to the door, and gave her a customary greeting of “bonne nuit” and a slight bow. With her pungent perfume of some unknown concoctions still lingering in my shabby one room apartment, i sat down to write down the details :
Item lost : The Tear of Nile.
Estimated value : 500,000 pounds (enough for me to put it as security to get a 3x loan facility from my banker friend)
Place : Mansion of Baroness Flauntine
Time : around 9pm at her private party, during a 30 minutes blackout
Guest List :
Madame Bovarine – a prominent lady of high social status, 55 years obese rich lady, with an penchant for dogs.
Mademoiselle Marine – Struggling lawyer, age 35, working for a Hong Kong based legal firm.
Madame Mireille – 33 year old workaholic accountant, with established accounting firm, specialising in M&A.
The details are skeletal, and not even enough for me to put on my thinking cap. I folded the paper of details into my pocket, and had a night cap before hitting the sack.
Friday morning, i managed to get my beaten up Iswara started, and sped towards the mansion of Baroness Flauntine near the suburbs. I need to survey the scene of crime to get more clues, before i can interview the suspects.
To be continued....
note : bonne nuit = good night
detective story - part 1
Inspired by Calvin and Hobbes comic strip, “Nero Wolfe detective series” by Rex Stout.
Note : all stories are merely imaginations of the author, and any resemblance to real person(s) and/or events are purely coincidental.
Part 1 : On a Thursday evening
On a Thursday evening. I was lying back on the armchair, legs crossed on table, arms folded behind my head, staring at the ceiling, and trying to figure things out. The rent is due next week, and my car needs repairing. And the fat lady upstairs wont stop singing. This and all some petty matters is driving me nuts.
“Ding – dong”, goes the doorbell. Muttering a silent curse, i got the door open, wondering which creditor is after me at this hour.
“Monsieur Sticky? I'm baroness Flauntine....” i opened the door to a elegantly dressed lady, draped with a fur of some dead animal, with a feather on her flamboyant hat. Her thick eye lashes seemed like they can talk.
“Ah..yes, at your service, madame” i managed to bring my senses back to normal, and stammered something of intelligence.
“Pray take a seat, and tell me how i can be of help. Brandy of whiskey?” i ushered her in, and seated her at my best sofa.
“Oh, tres bien, i'll have whisky on the rocks, sil vous plait.”she sat herself graciously, minding not to cress her dress, and not forgetting to sweep her fur with an air. Ah, these damsels in distress...
I poured her her drink, and waited for her to began.
“My most precious, the fabled ruby, known as The Tear of Nile, has gone missing during my party last night....” she began.
“Madame, this is not....” I began to protest weakly, wringing my hand in despair, as searching for lost trinkets is not my cup of tea.
“I'll offer you 5,000 pounds, exclusive of all your expenses”she interrupted forcefully.
“...a problem. Pray tell me the details.”Reality got the better of me. There's the rent to pay, right?
To be continued..if you are still interested :-)
note : tres bien = very good
sil vous plait = if you please/ if it pleases you
dang, now i;m flaunting my tiny weeny bit of french, haha.. :P
Note : all stories are merely imaginations of the author, and any resemblance to real person(s) and/or events are purely coincidental.
Part 1 : On a Thursday evening
On a Thursday evening. I was lying back on the armchair, legs crossed on table, arms folded behind my head, staring at the ceiling, and trying to figure things out. The rent is due next week, and my car needs repairing. And the fat lady upstairs wont stop singing. This and all some petty matters is driving me nuts.
“Ding – dong”, goes the doorbell. Muttering a silent curse, i got the door open, wondering which creditor is after me at this hour.
“Monsieur Sticky? I'm baroness Flauntine....” i opened the door to a elegantly dressed lady, draped with a fur of some dead animal, with a feather on her flamboyant hat. Her thick eye lashes seemed like they can talk.
“Ah..yes, at your service, madame” i managed to bring my senses back to normal, and stammered something of intelligence.
“Pray take a seat, and tell me how i can be of help. Brandy of whiskey?” i ushered her in, and seated her at my best sofa.
“Oh, tres bien, i'll have whisky on the rocks, sil vous plait.”she sat herself graciously, minding not to cress her dress, and not forgetting to sweep her fur with an air. Ah, these damsels in distress...
I poured her her drink, and waited for her to began.
“My most precious, the fabled ruby, known as The Tear of Nile, has gone missing during my party last night....” she began.
“Madame, this is not....” I began to protest weakly, wringing my hand in despair, as searching for lost trinkets is not my cup of tea.
“I'll offer you 5,000 pounds, exclusive of all your expenses”she interrupted forcefully.
“...a problem. Pray tell me the details.”Reality got the better of me. There's the rent to pay, right?
To be continued..if you are still interested :-)
note : tres bien = very good
sil vous plait = if you please/ if it pleases you
dang, now i;m flaunting my tiny weeny bit of french, haha.. :P
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