Part 5 – Madamoiselle Marine
Sheung Wan is a nice suburb, not too bustling, and surrounded by hills and trees. The seaview is also quite nice. And the skyscrapers opposite make for a panoramic night view. Though the place cannot be compared to posh places like Mayfair, Holland road, Melbourne and Bangsar, but the atmosphere is warm and comfy with the likes of Birmingham/Steines, Bukit Batok/Ang Mo Kio, Adelaide and Teluk Pulai.
Taking the narrow flight of stairs up, I reached the door of Mdmsl Marine.
“Knock, knock”
“Lei kan(coming)….” A rough voice called out.
The door opened to a slim brunette, specky with freckles, in sleeveless shirt, and hot pants. Just my type. I would have devoured her right there and then, if I were not here for official business. The fact that she’s a lawyer also deterred my actions.
“Afternoon, hou2 mou1(how are you)?” I greeted.
“Hou2 lei1 sei2 yan3 tau3 (good your dead head)!” she cursed. “I’m in the middle of preparing for my bar exams, and what the hell do you think you’re doing? “
Before I can speak a word, she interrupted with her fiery lash again.
“Mister, you have the right to remain silent, but whatever you say will be used against you!”
That reminds me to consult my panel of legal advisors before meeting any lawyer next time.
“No, I didn’t do it. And even if I did, I wouldn’t do it that way, and put myself in the list of obvious suspects. I know all the loopholes in law, and a few judges too.”
Somehow, my mind ran a bit wild on some lewd thoughts of fat judges and her. Sigh, I don’t call myself hamsap for nothing.
“And if you have nothing else to add, buzz off”. Slam ! The door slammed at my face, followed by silent obscene Cantonese curses by me, sending regards to her ancestors.
I cant help but remember my 2nd ex, who’s forever busy. Bless her, wherever she may be, and all the best in her future.
Well, at least it gives me some time to go back and have a nap before meeting Mdm. Mireille for dinner tonight.
Monday, October 13, 2008
detective story - part 4
Part 4 - Madame Bovarine
“Cuckoo, cuckoo....” the alarm of my handphone rang. I reached over, and wanted to press the snooze button, but decided against it. Today's a long day for me, and i don't want to be late with the breakfast appointment. Especially with Madame Bovarine, the socialite tai-tai.
I reached the Sri Petaling dim sum shop at 8am. Its easy to spot her actually. A fat lady sitting on a big table, pile up with all sorts of dim sum you can imagine – Shark's fin, abalone, bird's nest, crabmeat, prawn ball, crusty egg tart, fried yam(wu kok) , pan fried carrot cake(lor bak gou), steamed pork bun(char siew pau), chicken's sweet rice(lor mai kai), and a host of mouth-watering tibits i cant name.
With a wave towards her, i waited for her to gesture to me before sitting down. The huge man in black standing behind her looks menacing in his dark glasses. Why must body guards always have a typical look? That's when i noticed a sleek man, with nicely creamed hair, in white, sitting nearby. Ah, so the urban legend that rich and famous usually have a pair of bodyguards is true afterall. Black white two kill (Hei1 Bai2 shuang1 sa4). The way he looked at me seems as if i'm stripped naked by his eyes. Aargh, disgusting and unnerving.
“Oomph...you mast be mister sickee....” the fat lady mumbled with her mouthful of food.
“Kam, hef sam ting to eet...” she said, while licking at her oily fingers, studded with ornamental rings. I feel like facing a big vase, and quickly brought my attention back to the present.
“Ah, good morning, and thank you, Madam.”
“Ah Kau, ask them to ta pau(take away) this, this and this for George.” the tai tai ordered her bodyguard.
“Taking back for your husband? How lovely” i squeezed out a weak smile.
“NO lar ! Its for my loyal dog....”she scowled.
“Oh..sorry, Madam...”
“Listen to me, i know why you are here today, so i'm not going to let you waste my time...”she began.
“I didnt steal the ruby, and i dont have to, i have tons of them.....”
I nodded my head. Detective handbook rule #1 : Listening gains more information than talking.
“You know ar? I went for the party becos i give face to Flauntine..she think she what ar? If not becos her cook can serve great sweet and sour fish, i also no time to “layan” her...”
Still nodding, i began taking notes mentally.
“Plus, i also share a company with Flauntine...”
“You mean you are both partners”
“Aberthen(meaning : what do you think?) ? You think i pray pray ar....”
“No, madam, please continue...”waving my hands, i motioned for her to proceed.
“Flauntine that bitch ar....”and the information extracting process continued for the next few hours...
“Thank you, madam.” I bowed slightly, as the Mercedes Compressor pulled away, leaving me to take in the smokes.
Next stop, lunch at Mademoiselle Marine's place, at Sheung Wan.
To be continued...
“Cuckoo, cuckoo....” the alarm of my handphone rang. I reached over, and wanted to press the snooze button, but decided against it. Today's a long day for me, and i don't want to be late with the breakfast appointment. Especially with Madame Bovarine, the socialite tai-tai.
I reached the Sri Petaling dim sum shop at 8am. Its easy to spot her actually. A fat lady sitting on a big table, pile up with all sorts of dim sum you can imagine – Shark's fin, abalone, bird's nest, crabmeat, prawn ball, crusty egg tart, fried yam(wu kok) , pan fried carrot cake(lor bak gou), steamed pork bun(char siew pau), chicken's sweet rice(lor mai kai), and a host of mouth-watering tibits i cant name.
With a wave towards her, i waited for her to gesture to me before sitting down. The huge man in black standing behind her looks menacing in his dark glasses. Why must body guards always have a typical look? That's when i noticed a sleek man, with nicely creamed hair, in white, sitting nearby. Ah, so the urban legend that rich and famous usually have a pair of bodyguards is true afterall. Black white two kill (Hei1 Bai2 shuang1 sa4). The way he looked at me seems as if i'm stripped naked by his eyes. Aargh, disgusting and unnerving.
“Oomph...you mast be mister sickee....” the fat lady mumbled with her mouthful of food.
“Kam, hef sam ting to eet...” she said, while licking at her oily fingers, studded with ornamental rings. I feel like facing a big vase, and quickly brought my attention back to the present.
“Ah, good morning, and thank you, Madam.”
“Ah Kau, ask them to ta pau(take away) this, this and this for George.” the tai tai ordered her bodyguard.
“Taking back for your husband? How lovely” i squeezed out a weak smile.
“NO lar ! Its for my loyal dog....”she scowled.
“Oh..sorry, Madam...”
“Listen to me, i know why you are here today, so i'm not going to let you waste my time...”she began.
“I didnt steal the ruby, and i dont have to, i have tons of them.....”
I nodded my head. Detective handbook rule #1 : Listening gains more information than talking.
“You know ar? I went for the party becos i give face to Flauntine..she think she what ar? If not becos her cook can serve great sweet and sour fish, i also no time to “layan” her...”
Still nodding, i began taking notes mentally.
“Plus, i also share a company with Flauntine...”
“You mean you are both partners”
“Aberthen(meaning : what do you think?) ? You think i pray pray ar....”
“No, madam, please continue...”waving my hands, i motioned for her to proceed.
“Flauntine that bitch ar....”and the information extracting process continued for the next few hours...
“Thank you, madam.” I bowed slightly, as the Mercedes Compressor pulled away, leaving me to take in the smokes.
Next stop, lunch at Mademoiselle Marine's place, at Sheung Wan.
To be continued...
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
detective story - part 3
Part 3 : The scene
Reaching the sprawling mansion of Madame Flauntine, i cant help but wonder what kind of business she does. The driveway is long enough for a plane to take off, and the lawns are ample to build another block of condominiums or two. Walking into the hall, and ignoring the barks of the poodle, i greeted my client warmly.
“Bonjour, madame.”
“Ah, monsieur Sticky...cough..cough...excusez moi, but i'm not feeling well today, having chest pains. Cough, cough. Allow me to introduce my niece to you, Lilliane. “ Mdm Flauntine was wrapped in thick rolls of furs, and she gestured to a curly haired lady.
“Enchante, mademoiselle Liliane.” and i shaked her hands warmly. Turning to Mdm, “Madame, for your heart, i can recommend Countess Yvonne, my high school senior, a renowned cardiologist in Europe to you. Her professionalism is unquestionable, and her skills impeccable. And for your medication needs, i recommend Miss Tomato and Miss Purple of the Federal Regulation Bureau.”
“All right. Lilliane will be of assistance to you, now if you'll excuse me.”Mdm Flauntine sauntered out grogily.
“Mdmsl Lilliane, i'm sure your aunt must have told you of my profession as a private investigator, and my presence this morning here.” i began earnestly. “et vous etre?”
“Je suis consultante”, she replied haughtily. Somehow, the word “consultant” is arcane to me, and i always wonder what consultants do actually. I mean, if they do anything at all.
“Can you elaborate more on your job?” i queried.
“All i can say is i'm working on a italian job, and it is none of your business anyway, and is of no relation to the case at hand.” she snapped. She sure has a fiery nature.
“Oh, ok. We'll get down to business then.” i offered.
The mansion is tastefully built and furnished, with long french windows, and thick curtains. The party room has a big chandelier, and the whole house exuded style and fashion. It has ample wide spaces, which is a difference from other aristocratic wanna be's , who cluttered the whole place with furniture, carpets and what nots, and you can barely take a step without tripping over something.
Surveying the whole house brings nothing of new to light, and i was thinking of having lunch, when Lilliane motioned me over.
“I hope you have gathered your information, and i bid you good day.” she replied coldly. Not even lunch for me, and i muttered a italian curse silently.
“What is it?” she asked.
“Ah, nothing, just taking down some notes verbally.” i replied. “Bonjournee.” i bowed and left.
“Good luck, monsieur.” she managed to smile finally.
Back in the car, i took a drive around the mansion, and found nothing of interest. Reaching home, i called up the guests, and arranged to meet up with them tomorrow.
To be continued...
Note : bonjour = nice day
enchante = pleased to meet you
et vous etre = and you are? (used to ask a person's occupation or nationality, etc)
Je suis = i am
Bonjournee= nice day ahead
Reaching the sprawling mansion of Madame Flauntine, i cant help but wonder what kind of business she does. The driveway is long enough for a plane to take off, and the lawns are ample to build another block of condominiums or two. Walking into the hall, and ignoring the barks of the poodle, i greeted my client warmly.
“Bonjour, madame.”
“Ah, monsieur Sticky...cough..cough...excusez moi, but i'm not feeling well today, having chest pains. Cough, cough. Allow me to introduce my niece to you, Lilliane. “ Mdm Flauntine was wrapped in thick rolls of furs, and she gestured to a curly haired lady.
“Enchante, mademoiselle Liliane.” and i shaked her hands warmly. Turning to Mdm, “Madame, for your heart, i can recommend Countess Yvonne, my high school senior, a renowned cardiologist in Europe to you. Her professionalism is unquestionable, and her skills impeccable. And for your medication needs, i recommend Miss Tomato and Miss Purple of the Federal Regulation Bureau.”
“All right. Lilliane will be of assistance to you, now if you'll excuse me.”Mdm Flauntine sauntered out grogily.
“Mdmsl Lilliane, i'm sure your aunt must have told you of my profession as a private investigator, and my presence this morning here.” i began earnestly. “et vous etre?”
“Je suis consultante”, she replied haughtily. Somehow, the word “consultant” is arcane to me, and i always wonder what consultants do actually. I mean, if they do anything at all.
“Can you elaborate more on your job?” i queried.
“All i can say is i'm working on a italian job, and it is none of your business anyway, and is of no relation to the case at hand.” she snapped. She sure has a fiery nature.
“Oh, ok. We'll get down to business then.” i offered.
The mansion is tastefully built and furnished, with long french windows, and thick curtains. The party room has a big chandelier, and the whole house exuded style and fashion. It has ample wide spaces, which is a difference from other aristocratic wanna be's , who cluttered the whole place with furniture, carpets and what nots, and you can barely take a step without tripping over something.
Surveying the whole house brings nothing of new to light, and i was thinking of having lunch, when Lilliane motioned me over.
“I hope you have gathered your information, and i bid you good day.” she replied coldly. Not even lunch for me, and i muttered a italian curse silently.
“What is it?” she asked.
“Ah, nothing, just taking down some notes verbally.” i replied. “Bonjournee.” i bowed and left.
“Good luck, monsieur.” she managed to smile finally.
Back in the car, i took a drive around the mansion, and found nothing of interest. Reaching home, i called up the guests, and arranged to meet up with them tomorrow.
To be continued...
Note : bonjour = nice day
enchante = pleased to meet you
et vous etre = and you are? (used to ask a person's occupation or nationality, etc)
Je suis = i am
Bonjournee= nice day ahead
detective story - part 2
Part 2 : The Tear of Nile
Baroness Flauntine summed up the story over her whisky on the rocks. I escorted her to the door, and gave her a customary greeting of “bonne nuit” and a slight bow. With her pungent perfume of some unknown concoctions still lingering in my shabby one room apartment, i sat down to write down the details :
Item lost : The Tear of Nile.
Estimated value : 500,000 pounds (enough for me to put it as security to get a 3x loan facility from my banker friend)
Place : Mansion of Baroness Flauntine
Time : around 9pm at her private party, during a 30 minutes blackout
Guest List :
Madame Bovarine – a prominent lady of high social status, 55 years obese rich lady, with an penchant for dogs.
Mademoiselle Marine – Struggling lawyer, age 35, working for a Hong Kong based legal firm.
Madame Mireille – 33 year old workaholic accountant, with established accounting firm, specialising in M&A.
The details are skeletal, and not even enough for me to put on my thinking cap. I folded the paper of details into my pocket, and had a night cap before hitting the sack.
Friday morning, i managed to get my beaten up Iswara started, and sped towards the mansion of Baroness Flauntine near the suburbs. I need to survey the scene of crime to get more clues, before i can interview the suspects.
To be continued....
note : bonne nuit = good night
Baroness Flauntine summed up the story over her whisky on the rocks. I escorted her to the door, and gave her a customary greeting of “bonne nuit” and a slight bow. With her pungent perfume of some unknown concoctions still lingering in my shabby one room apartment, i sat down to write down the details :
Item lost : The Tear of Nile.
Estimated value : 500,000 pounds (enough for me to put it as security to get a 3x loan facility from my banker friend)
Place : Mansion of Baroness Flauntine
Time : around 9pm at her private party, during a 30 minutes blackout
Guest List :
Madame Bovarine – a prominent lady of high social status, 55 years obese rich lady, with an penchant for dogs.
Mademoiselle Marine – Struggling lawyer, age 35, working for a Hong Kong based legal firm.
Madame Mireille – 33 year old workaholic accountant, with established accounting firm, specialising in M&A.
The details are skeletal, and not even enough for me to put on my thinking cap. I folded the paper of details into my pocket, and had a night cap before hitting the sack.
Friday morning, i managed to get my beaten up Iswara started, and sped towards the mansion of Baroness Flauntine near the suburbs. I need to survey the scene of crime to get more clues, before i can interview the suspects.
To be continued....
note : bonne nuit = good night
detective story - part 1
Inspired by Calvin and Hobbes comic strip, “Nero Wolfe detective series” by Rex Stout.
Note : all stories are merely imaginations of the author, and any resemblance to real person(s) and/or events are purely coincidental.
Part 1 : On a Thursday evening
On a Thursday evening. I was lying back on the armchair, legs crossed on table, arms folded behind my head, staring at the ceiling, and trying to figure things out. The rent is due next week, and my car needs repairing. And the fat lady upstairs wont stop singing. This and all some petty matters is driving me nuts.
“Ding – dong”, goes the doorbell. Muttering a silent curse, i got the door open, wondering which creditor is after me at this hour.
“Monsieur Sticky? I'm baroness Flauntine....” i opened the door to a elegantly dressed lady, draped with a fur of some dead animal, with a feather on her flamboyant hat. Her thick eye lashes seemed like they can talk.
“Ah..yes, at your service, madame” i managed to bring my senses back to normal, and stammered something of intelligence.
“Pray take a seat, and tell me how i can be of help. Brandy of whiskey?” i ushered her in, and seated her at my best sofa.
“Oh, tres bien, i'll have whisky on the rocks, sil vous plait.”she sat herself graciously, minding not to cress her dress, and not forgetting to sweep her fur with an air. Ah, these damsels in distress...
I poured her her drink, and waited for her to began.
“My most precious, the fabled ruby, known as The Tear of Nile, has gone missing during my party last night....” she began.
“Madame, this is not....” I began to protest weakly, wringing my hand in despair, as searching for lost trinkets is not my cup of tea.
“I'll offer you 5,000 pounds, exclusive of all your expenses”she interrupted forcefully.
“...a problem. Pray tell me the details.”Reality got the better of me. There's the rent to pay, right?
To be continued..if you are still interested :-)
note : tres bien = very good
sil vous plait = if you please/ if it pleases you
dang, now i;m flaunting my tiny weeny bit of french, haha.. :P
Note : all stories are merely imaginations of the author, and any resemblance to real person(s) and/or events are purely coincidental.
Part 1 : On a Thursday evening
On a Thursday evening. I was lying back on the armchair, legs crossed on table, arms folded behind my head, staring at the ceiling, and trying to figure things out. The rent is due next week, and my car needs repairing. And the fat lady upstairs wont stop singing. This and all some petty matters is driving me nuts.
“Ding – dong”, goes the doorbell. Muttering a silent curse, i got the door open, wondering which creditor is after me at this hour.
“Monsieur Sticky? I'm baroness Flauntine....” i opened the door to a elegantly dressed lady, draped with a fur of some dead animal, with a feather on her flamboyant hat. Her thick eye lashes seemed like they can talk.
“Ah..yes, at your service, madame” i managed to bring my senses back to normal, and stammered something of intelligence.
“Pray take a seat, and tell me how i can be of help. Brandy of whiskey?” i ushered her in, and seated her at my best sofa.
“Oh, tres bien, i'll have whisky on the rocks, sil vous plait.”she sat herself graciously, minding not to cress her dress, and not forgetting to sweep her fur with an air. Ah, these damsels in distress...
I poured her her drink, and waited for her to began.
“My most precious, the fabled ruby, known as The Tear of Nile, has gone missing during my party last night....” she began.
“Madame, this is not....” I began to protest weakly, wringing my hand in despair, as searching for lost trinkets is not my cup of tea.
“I'll offer you 5,000 pounds, exclusive of all your expenses”she interrupted forcefully.
“...a problem. Pray tell me the details.”Reality got the better of me. There's the rent to pay, right?
To be continued..if you are still interested :-)
note : tres bien = very good
sil vous plait = if you please/ if it pleases you
dang, now i;m flaunting my tiny weeny bit of french, haha.. :P
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
deaf culture
Sign language teacher smsed me for a special test today. Seems that i'm short of 4 more marks to pass level 1. went for the test, and only managed to get 3 marks, bringing the total to 69.95...well...que sera, sera. Had a short talk with her on deaf culture, and the following are excerpts (in sign, but translated) :
me : i realised something about the deaf people ...
she : what is it?
Me : you all are wary of the hearing (people), and do not trust them. It takes a lot of time and patience to gain the trust of you all.
She : ya.
Me : i believe it is the constant fear of not being able to hear what we are saying whenever we are talking, and that breeds unnecessary fear and mistrust.
She : (nods) but there are exceptions...what is (another teacher) were to tell you that she likes you?
Me : (shaking head) then i will have to tell her that it is very difficult. As i believe communications is important in any relation, and given my poor sign skills, i wont be able to understand her most of the time, and vice versa. This will create weariness.
She : ya, and your parents will not be able to accept it too.
Me : well...ya, cos they also don't know sign language, and its going to be difficult for them to communicate with each other, and also other friends and relatives.
She : agree.
Me : so, you gotta have more trust in your bf. And remember, patience (fancy that coming from me ! A table banging swearing two-tongue good for nothing !) is also important.
She : (nodding) ya.
Me : but now times have changed, with the internet and handphone, the hearing(people) and deaf can still be friends can communicate like normal. Even most of my friends also i rarely call or meet them, only contact thru sms, email or chat.
She : ya, but for a relation, still need face to face interaction.
Me : ya, true also.
She : anyway, hope you will continue to learn and improve your sign language, and make more friends with the deaf, and also introduce more friends to them.
Me : ya, i will :-)
as such, the deaf are also normal, just that they need more time to build their trust in others, as they've been living in their silent world since birth, all alone, with few friends.
Hope this will prompt you to learn about sign language ;-)
me : i realised something about the deaf people ...
she : what is it?
Me : you all are wary of the hearing (people), and do not trust them. It takes a lot of time and patience to gain the trust of you all.
She : ya.
Me : i believe it is the constant fear of not being able to hear what we are saying whenever we are talking, and that breeds unnecessary fear and mistrust.
She : (nods) but there are exceptions...what is (another teacher) were to tell you that she likes you?
Me : (shaking head) then i will have to tell her that it is very difficult. As i believe communications is important in any relation, and given my poor sign skills, i wont be able to understand her most of the time, and vice versa. This will create weariness.
She : ya, and your parents will not be able to accept it too.
Me : well...ya, cos they also don't know sign language, and its going to be difficult for them to communicate with each other, and also other friends and relatives.
She : agree.
Me : so, you gotta have more trust in your bf. And remember, patience (fancy that coming from me ! A table banging swearing two-tongue good for nothing !) is also important.
She : (nodding) ya.
Me : but now times have changed, with the internet and handphone, the hearing(people) and deaf can still be friends can communicate like normal. Even most of my friends also i rarely call or meet them, only contact thru sms, email or chat.
She : ya, but for a relation, still need face to face interaction.
Me : ya, true also.
She : anyway, hope you will continue to learn and improve your sign language, and make more friends with the deaf, and also introduce more friends to them.
Me : ya, i will :-)
as such, the deaf are also normal, just that they need more time to build their trust in others, as they've been living in their silent world since birth, all alone, with few friends.
Hope this will prompt you to learn about sign language ;-)
Monday, September 15, 2008
realization
Something dawned on me today.
I realized that :
1.by saying that i'm lazy, by not knowing more about my job, being ignorant and doing nothing about it, is irresponsible. I've gotta learn to take care of myself(eg learn to fry egg), and dun let parents worry about me.
2.By being childish, and making people angry with my words, and continuously apologizing, and repeating the same mistakes over and over again, is truly childish. I gotta grow up.
3.Using sweet talk to court gals just wont work(from my experience), i need to improve myself and love myself first, before i can love others.
4.And telling gals that i like them before i know them is not considered as honesty, but stupidity and flirtious, insincere.
Finally, i would like to quote the lyrics from “better man” by robbie williams :
Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain
Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man
yeah, i want to become a better man.
I realized that :
1.by saying that i'm lazy, by not knowing more about my job, being ignorant and doing nothing about it, is irresponsible. I've gotta learn to take care of myself(eg learn to fry egg), and dun let parents worry about me.
2.By being childish, and making people angry with my words, and continuously apologizing, and repeating the same mistakes over and over again, is truly childish. I gotta grow up.
3.Using sweet talk to court gals just wont work(from my experience), i need to improve myself and love myself first, before i can love others.
4.And telling gals that i like them before i know them is not considered as honesty, but stupidity and flirtious, insincere.
Finally, i would like to quote the lyrics from “better man” by robbie williams :
Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain
Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man
yeah, i want to become a better man.
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